Words are stuck in my head. A jumbled mess.
All the things I’m tired of waiting for. Feeling emotionally inadequate from the thought “Oh! That will be so much fun to do with the love of my life!” Exhausted mentally from the wanting of “that special someone to share my journey, who WANTS to be on my journey.”
Life is WAY too short. Want Want Want…Wait Wait Wait.
No more waiting. Curbing the wanting. Mr. Someone Special can catch up. Or better yet, meet me there; his choice!
For as long as I remember I’ve listened to what others wanted and quite often did what they wanted/expected of me, in hopes of pleasing them. Some of those times it was needed for me to put their needs in front of mine. But not always. Not when it put my happiness and emotional state in the toilet.
Since my divorce it’s been a wonderful, amazing (slow) journey. I’ve come to realize that I AM allowed to be happy, I AM allowed to have fun, I AM allowed to make the choices that are best suited for my life. And I remembered that it’s OK to do them alone.
You see, in my younger years (pre marriage) I LOVED road trips. It was nothing for me to get off work Friday night and say “I’m going to go see Gram in Philly this weekend!” Whenever the urge hit I would run home, grab clothes and hit the road. Back pre marriage I did things I wanted to do, when I wanted to, with whom I wanted to.
Granted back then I wished for that special someone ALL THE TIME too. But I was SO shy and figured “eventually” I’d meet that special someone to share the journey with; why let being alone stop me from what I wanted in other areas of life. And no matter how shy I felt, I made myself do things “out of my comfort zone.” Of course, there was also a lot of alcohol involved back then.
So I’ve taken that page out of my own story book. Making myself do things out of my comfort zone. Hitting the road as often as possible (these days it takes a lil planning ahead then before LOL). One weekend I went to a charity whiskey tasting. I knew NO one. Yes, alcohol was involved however I knew my limits 🙂 . In May I have a gal pal trip scheduled for the tropics. And just this last weekend I took my first solo road trip in 15 years!
To be continued….Learning to Date Myself